Sunday, September 28, 2008

The King of Henry Ave.

Perhaps you've seen the king on your street.
All streets have one.
Ours is John.
Greek, tall, and a cigar smoker; he gallantly strides the neighborhood, cane in hand.

John is also a very kind man.
He plays cards on his porch with his older sons.
In fact, the king gave us a loveseat a while ago that is very comfortable.
He has two peach trees by his porch.

Several weeks ago, John gave Dad a few peaches.
Oh man. They were tasty.
They hit the spot like John Kruk on a good day.
We ate them all.

To our surprise, the king then gave us Greek Sausage one day as we climbed out of our car after parking.
It was intense, but good. (I didn't get that much... something about my intestines and gas..)

But to really get to the kicker, I have to tell you that mom decided to say thank you for the sausage by giving the king some cookies.
They were Chocolate crinkle cookies.

And this is when I tell you the most amazing thing:
Dad and I went over one day when John was on his porch to give him the cookies. At first he said he shouldn't take them, but Dad insisted. (We think Mrs. King may have an opinion on Mr. King's sugar intake). But John DID take the cookies and then the most amazing thing happened: John said "Hold on!" and went inside his house. A moment later he came out of the house holding a pack of three new boxers (underwear for older boys). He gave them to Dad. They have stripes and spots and elastic linings.

So now we sit on our in boxer shorts, eating peaches and Greek sausages, on our tan loveseat.

May you find your neighborhood king and may you enjoy the richness of friendship with that person to the extent that they give you underwear.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Monday, September 22, 2008

The Pig
by Roald Dahl

In England once there lived a big
And wonderfully clever pig.
To everybody it was plain
That Piggy had a massive brain.

He worked out sums inside his head,
There was no book he hadn't read.
He knew what made an airplane fly,
He knew how engines worked and why.

He knew all this, but in the end
One question drove him round the bend:
He simply couldn't puzzle out
What LIFE was really all about.

What was the reason for his birth?
Why was he placed upon this earth?
His giant brain went round and round.
Alas, no answer could be found.

Till suddenly one wondrous night.
All in a flash he saw the light.
He jumped up like a ballet dancer
And yelled, "By gum, I've got the answer!"

"They want my bacon slice by slice
"To sell at a tremendous price!
"They want my tender juicy chops
"To put in all the butcher's shops!

"They want my pork to make a roast
"And that's the part'll cost the most!
"They want my sausages in strings!
"They even want my chitterlings!

"The butcher's shop! The carving knife!
"That is the reason for my life!"
Such thoughts as these are not designed
To give a pig great piece of mind.

Next morning, in comes Farmer Bland,
A pail of pigswill in his hand,
And piggy with a mighty roar,
Bashes the farmer to the floor…

Now comes the rather grizzly bit
So let's not make too much of it,
Except that you must understand
That Piggy did eat Farmer Bland,

He ate him up from head to toe,
Chewing the pieces nice and slow.
It took an hour to reach the feet,
Because there was so much to eat.

And when he finished, Pig, of course,
Felt absolutely no remorse.
Slowly he scratched his brainy head
And with a little smile he said,

"I had a fairly powerful hunch
"That he might have me for his lunch.
"And so, because I feared the worst,
"I thought I'd better eat him first."

The old "Pull my finger" routine.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Like a Pirate

Happy National Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Porcupine Meatballs

Click here for the recipe

The amazingness of "IN"

I've been busting out the old "IN" lately. I don't say, just do.
Mom thought it'd be humorous to take an hour of the day and take a photograph of things she caught me putting IN that didn't necessarily belong. Of course they belong! By the way....they still haven't found their remote.

For your head: the red basket in these photos is a bin we use in the kitchen for towels, napkins, etc. for a later date with the washer.

Tongue and Cheeks

Monday, September 15, 2008

Taxidermy Zoo

A baby flamingo behind plexiglass.

Waldo and I

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Oval Office

Pope Benedict XVI and I talking in the White House Oval Office and myself, hard at work in the OO.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Out of Mama, One (That's just gross)

I'm not making any political calls here, but perhaps the presidential seal is off limits. Just like the tape around the air conditioner, the computer mouse, and the kitchen garbage.

Associated Press Writer
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. (AP) -- A presidential seal graphically altered with symbols representing Barack Obama's campaign of change was just for one-time use and will not be used again, a spokeswoman for the Democrat's campaign said Monday.
The seal, with its blue background and an eagle in the center clutching arrows and an olive branch, evoked the official presidential version, but had been altered with a new Latin phrase, instead of the original "E pluribus unum," which means, "Out of many, one."
Obama's campaign changed the phrase to "Vero possumus," which can be roughly translated to his "Yes, we can" slogan. The seal also featured his "O" campaign logo covering the eagle's body, instead of a shield.
When the altered seal was unveiled last Friday in Chicago, it raised eyebrows and prompted comments about how presidential it looked. The Republican National Committee gleefully ridiculed it as a prop.
Jen Psaki, a spokeswoman for Obama's campaign, said Monday that the altered seal would not be used again. She said it was only intended for that event, in which Obama held a round-table discussion with Democratic governors.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Send your pictures to dear old Captain Simeon

If you email me a picture of yourself...I'd like to organize something.... email me a picture of you. email me a picture of you. email me a picture of you.....

please email them to

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

You'd be proud

We went hiking (I'm hiding in the backpack). We also scared some park rangers.

And I took an early morning stroll with Dad every morning around the lake. Because it was vacation and I didn't want to miss out on anything, I made sure to wake up a full two hours before anyone else (planned) on waking up. I averaged 5:30am and even busted out 4:30am once. This picture was taken later in the walk, after the sun had rose.

I used the wood behind me as toothpicks after I gnawed the manly portions of beast flesh Pop Pop grilled for me each evening.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Swing is BACK

Here's a pic of Mom and I swinging together. For all of my urban friends, I should explain that those amazingly large weeds behind me are cornstalks. We get sweetcorn, corn flakes, high-fructose corn syrup, pyrodextrin, and sorbitol from corn, just to name a few.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Ode To Joy, by Beaker

Ode to Joy, by Beaker (click on this text)

Introducing Timothy Dawson Parrish

I have some very talented cousins. Among them are Paul, Sara, and Timothy. Here's Timothy working on a song. He is a singer and songwriter.

The Elf formerly known as Clay

Mom and I at the Beach

Clay and I

Mom and Clay