The Pig
by Roald Dahl

In England once there lived a big
And wonderfully clever pig.
To everybody it was plain
That Piggy had a massive brain.

He worked out sums inside his head,
There was no book he hadn't read.
He knew what made an airplane fly,
He knew how engines worked and why.

He knew all this, but in the end
One question drove him round the bend:
He simply couldn't puzzle out
What LIFE was really all about.

What was the reason for his birth?
Why was he placed upon this earth?
His giant brain went round and round.
Alas, no answer could be found.

Till suddenly one wondrous night.
All in a flash he saw the light.
He jumped up like a ballet dancer
And yelled, "By gum, I've got the answer!"

"They want my bacon slice by slice
"To sell at a tremendous price!
"They want my tender juicy chops
"To put in all the butcher's shops!

"They want my pork to make a roast
"And that's the part'll cost the most!
"They want my sausages in strings!
"They even want my chitterlings!

"The butcher's shop! The carving knife!
"That is the reason for my life!"
Such thoughts as these are not designed
To give a pig great piece of mind.

Next morning, in comes Farmer Bland,
A pail of pigswill in his hand,
And piggy with a mighty roar,
Bashes the farmer to the floor…

Now comes the rather grizzly bit
So let's not make too much of it,
Except that you must understand
That Piggy did eat Farmer Bland,

He ate him up from head to toe,
Chewing the pieces nice and slow.
It took an hour to reach the feet,
Because there was so much to eat.

And when he finished, Pig, of course,
Felt absolutely no remorse.
Slowly he scratched his brainy head
And with a little smile he said,

"I had a fairly powerful hunch
"That he might have me for his lunch.
"And so, because I feared the worst,
"I thought I'd better eat him first."

The old "Pull my finger" routine.

Like a Pirate

Happy National Talk Like a Pirate Day.
Matey.

Porcupine Meatballs

Click here for the recipe

The amazingness of "IN"

I've been busting out the old "IN" lately. I don't say, just do.
Mom thought it'd be humorous to take an hour of the day and take a photograph of things she caught me putting IN that didn't necessarily belong. Of course they belong! By the way....they still haven't found their remote.

For your head: the red basket in these photos is a bin we use in the kitchen for towels, napkins, etc. for a later date with the washer.

Tongue and Cheeks

Taxidermy Zoo

A baby flamingo behind plexiglass.

Waldo and I

gone fishing

Oval Office

Pope Benedict XVI and I talking in the White House Oval Office and myself, hard at work in the OO.

Out of Mama, One (That's just gross)

I'm not making any political calls here, but perhaps the presidential seal is off limits. Just like the tape around the air conditioner, the computer mouse, and the kitchen garbage.



By SARA KUGLER
Associated Press Writer
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. (AP) -- A presidential seal graphically altered with symbols representing Barack Obama's campaign of change was just for one-time use and will not be used again, a spokeswoman for the Democrat's campaign said Monday.
The seal, with its blue background and an eagle in the center clutching arrows and an olive branch, evoked the official presidential version, but had been altered with a new Latin phrase, instead of the original "E pluribus unum," which means, "Out of many, one."
Obama's campaign changed the phrase to "Vero possumus," which can be roughly translated to his "Yes, we can" slogan. The seal also featured his "O" campaign logo covering the eagle's body, instead of a shield.
When the altered seal was unveiled last Friday in Chicago, it raised eyebrows and prompted comments about how presidential it looked. The Republican National Committee gleefully ridiculed it as a prop.
Jen Psaki, a spokeswoman for Obama's campaign, said Monday that the altered seal would not be used again. She said it was only intended for that event, in which Obama held a round-table discussion with Democratic governors.

Send your pictures to dear old Captain Simeon

If you email me a picture of yourself...I'd like to organize something.... email me a picture of you. email me a picture of you. email me a picture of you.....

please email them to snabowne@hotmail.com

You'd be proud

We went hiking (I'm hiding in the backpack). We also scared some park rangers.






















And I took an early morning stroll with Dad every morning around the lake. Because it was vacation and I didn't want to miss out on anything, I made sure to wake up a full two hours before anyone else (planned) on waking up. I averaged 5:30am and even busted out 4:30am once. This picture was taken later in the walk, after the sun had rose.

I used the wood behind me as toothpicks after I gnawed the manly portions of beast flesh Pop Pop grilled for me each evening.

Swing is BACK

Here's a pic of Mom and I swinging together. For all of my urban friends, I should explain that those amazingly large weeds behind me are cornstalks. We get sweetcorn, corn flakes, high-fructose corn syrup, pyrodextrin, and sorbitol from corn, just to name a few.

Ode To Joy, by Beaker

Ode to Joy, by Beaker (click on this text)

Introducing Timothy Dawson Parrish

I have some very talented cousins. Among them are Paul, Sara, and Timothy. Here's Timothy working on a song. He is a singer and songwriter.